Autism Looks Different For Everyone

Autism Spectrum Disorder.
The name even implies that it is a spectrum of diversity, but still when most of us hear the word "autism" we imagine a socially inept savant who adheres to strict schedules.

The thing is, while that may describe a number of people with ASD, it doesn't define them all.

The spectrum was made even broader in 2013 when conditions like Aspergers were added to the definition of Autism.

Wyatt falls somewhere between high functioning autism and Asperger's. His initial diagnosis in 2017 was "Autism", but in 2018 more therapists started throwing around the term Asperger's.

I've researched them both, and the lines between the two are fuzzy, so I've started using the terms interchangeably since his care providers seem to do it as well.

Much like the stereotypical characteristics of autism, Wyatt becomes intensely focused on his favorite things, which are trains and dinosaurs. He also stacks or lines up EVERYTHING. His speech is delayed, he does not enjoy new people, large groups, or big changes. He has trouble reading non verbal cues, and often struggles with multi-step instructions.

Unlike the stereotype, Wyatt makes eye contact well when talking to someone he's comfortable with. He doesn't usually have issues with lights, sounds, or textures. He also doesn't stim (make repetitive motions or sounds), but he does seek sensory input in other ways like hanging upside down or wrestling.

I share all this, because this is part of what has kept me from sharing sooner.
I felt like we didnt fit the autism mold so our story wasn't one to share.

As time has gone on I've come to realize that as autism families, our children's individual struggles are different, but our struggles as families are the same.

We are afraid of the uncertain.
We struggle with if, when, and how to tell people about our child's diagnosis.
We feel judged by older generations who think we can spank the autism out of them.
We feel pretty lonely.

I hope this space will reach and help even just ONE family like ours in the first days of a new diagnosis.
I hope our stories of the good times bring you assurance that there is abundant happiness in this diagnosis, and that sharing the hard times will show you that you are not alone on this journey.

Comments

To The Person Questioning This Autism Thing

"Autism wasn't a thing in my day." "Doctors just want to diagnose everything these days. Everybody is sick with some made up thing". "A spankin' should knock the 'autism' right out of him." Oh, the things I was told in those early days of getting Wyatt diagnosed. It was probably the most insecure time in my life. I knew the doctors were onto something, but I would listen to these people talk at me and nod my head in silent agreement, and then cry in my car on the way home because of the fear that no one would accept my son for who he was if he didn't fit the cookie cutter mold of All American Boy. I also know this story is the same for just about everyone who's child receives an autism diagnosis. Because of that, a lot of families --ours included-- choose not to talk about the diagnosis. I've finally come to realize that people don't say these things to be malicious or to devalue our children. They say it because they...

You Deserve A Full Cup

"You can't pour from an empty cup, so fill your own first." The words paint such a beautiful picture of how life should be. When you start to feel empty, everything just magically stops so you can "refill your cup." But life doesn't work that way, does it? In fact, it seems that when we need that break to refuel the most, is when there is absolutely no time for yourself. There are chores to be done, sippy cups to fill, butts to wipe, practices to make, dinners to cook, bills to pay, and the very last thing on that list is "fill your own cup." And what does that even mean anyway? How does one fill their metaphorical cup? As women, the formula for success is pretty clear. To be the best version of yourself you need to wear fashionable clothing, have your hair done, drink iced coffee, wax, contour, cardio, drink a gallon of water, avoid sweet treats, yoga, meditate, and substitute all your carbs for cauliflower. Let me tell you, friends, I sp...

The Big A Word

"He's on the Spectrum," she said. The words rolled off her tongue like it was nothing. Like she had just told me the sky was blue. But those words sent tears rolling down my cheeks and sucked the air from my lungs. We had been dancing around this diagnosis for over a year, but hearing the words made it so real. I knew that my son was different. I knew that he had struggles that needed to be addressed. But the big A word. Autism. My son was Autistic. I wish I could go back to that moment and tell myself what I know now. I wish I knew what a gift this diagnosis would be. I wish I knew it would open the door that would completely change Wyatt's life for the better. I think the #1 thing people ask me, is "How did you know he had Autism?" The answer is, I didn't. Not until that phone call. The reality though is that knowing he had autism, wasn't nearly as important as the moment I knew he and I needed help. That moment came when he was 2 1/2...

Tales Of The Wild Things

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