Just give a crying kid a dinosaur

I have a confession to make.
When I was a mother to just one precious little angel, I was a judgy mom.
I had my nose in the air and firmly believed there was no excuse for children misbehaving in public, or worse yet, children who ran their home.
Nope those parents just needed to look at me and my perfect child to know how to be a good mom

And then The Honey Badger was born.

My son wasted no time serving me a big ole slice of humble pie.

Now, to be honest, I spend my days worrying about how people judge me, or even worse, how they judge him. I've thought about having a shirt made that says "I know we're a shit show. Don't feed the animals and keep moving".

So today as I'm dropping off my son at speech, I see this mom and her son who are new to the therapy office.

I just want to hug her because I see all the same things on her face that I wore on my own when we started this journey with Wyatt.
Exhaustion.
Shame.
Anxiety.
Reluctance.
And all of it under the fiercest mama bear attitude.

As I was getting up to leave, her little boy started having a meltdown. For those of you not familiar with Autism or Sensory Processing Disorders, a meltdown is not a tantrum, though it looks like one. Its bigger and so much harder to contain. It's their little minds unable to process how to handle what's happening to them. The wires just arent connecting like they are supposed to.

I quietly grabbed a dinosaur that I had seen him watching earlier and set it next to him on the table, and it distracted him enough to calm the meltdown before it got too far.

The mom and I exchanged a thank you and a "solidarity sister," and I left.

When I got to the car though, it hit me.
Being a judgemental mom never once helped a mom in need. It never once deescalated a situation. It never once made another mom feel encouraged.

Being an autism mom though? It made me the type of mom who helps another mom without thought.
It has made me the type of mom who will hug another mom so she can cry, and I might just cry with her.

So I say all this because I think maybe other moms need to hear it. Are your kids perfect? Soak that in! You're blessed.
Are there moms around you struggling?
Shut the parenting advice off.
Stop thinking you can fix other people's kids.
Just be the person who gives a crying kid a dinosaur.

Comments

You Deserve A Full Cup

"You can't pour from an empty cup, so fill your own first." The words paint such a beautiful picture of how life should be. When you start to feel empty, everything just magically stops so you can "refill your cup." But life doesn't work that way, does it? In fact, it seems that when we need that break to refuel the most, is when there is absolutely no time for yourself. There are chores to be done, sippy cups to fill, butts to wipe, practices to make, dinners to cook, bills to pay, and the very last thing on that list is "fill your own cup." And what does that even mean anyway? How does one fill their metaphorical cup? As women, the formula for success is pretty clear. To be the best version of yourself you need to wear fashionable clothing, have your hair done, drink iced coffee, wax, contour, cardio, drink a gallon of water, avoid sweet treats, yoga, meditate, and substitute all your carbs for cauliflower. Let me tell you, friends, I sp...

You Are Responsible For Your Own Feelings

I originally thought I wanted to talk about Holiday eating on this #FitnessFriday, but I've had a change of heart. I want to talk instead about our mental health during the holidays. More specifically I want to talk about the power that we give our relatives over our happiness. Go ahead and slip into some bell bottoms and put a flower in your hair, because I'm going to drop some hippy shit on you, but hang with me. YOU are entirely responsible for the way you let other people make you feel and YOU get to decide how much joy you take away from your holiday. And that can be a really hard pill to swallow when you are sitting across the table from a family member who you just don't vibe with. So how do you combat that? How do you push away their negativity and let yourself enjoy the festivities? The truth is, it starts with your own thoughts. In these days leading up to Christmas, take the opportunity to find the positive in the things that are about to happen. I don...

They're Listening

"Ugh, I suck. I'm the worst. I'm not good at anything." I've gotten on my daughter 100 times for talking to herself like that. "Would you say that to your friends? Then don't say it to yourself." I just could not wrap my head around where my confident daughter was learning to talk to herself like that. And then I heard it. On my last hunting trip, I was lucky enough to have a friend record the hunt. At one point, things weren't going the way I had planned. I remember mumbling to myself how upset I was. I remember jokingly saying I wasn't as good as we thought. I remember calling my husband, still breathing heavy from the hike, and joking that I was too fat for this. When we retrieved the elk, I remember being congratulated for the shot, but wondering if I could have done better. I was hard on myself for needing help with field dressing. I was physically ill that night because I was so worried I might not be strong enough to pack out...

Tales Of The Wild Things

Search This Blog